Thursday, 7 October, 2010

Woods, lakes and journeys....

The woods are lovely, dark and deep...and I was trudging along, sometimes happily and sometimes wearily. My life had a direction, every morning I had a reason to get up, to rush out, to grumble about. Ah life had purpose. I never appreciated that, maybe I should have and been more thankful.
Then I came across a lake. It looked lovely with its distant blue waters shimmering in the sunlight. I must say I was charmed. I was given a choice, whether I wanted to jump into it or not. It was virgin territory for me, hitherto unchartered. Since I knew the woods I was travelling through and fed up with its monotony and pettiness, the temptation to jump right into the lake was strong, really strong. Also my loved one was walking along the same direction. We thought we would be in the lake together, so what if we do not know how to swim, or anything about the life in that lake, together we would hold hands and swim across. It was to be an adventure, I was daring to shed off my old, boring yet known way of life and jump into the unknown. I did not take long to make up my mind....I was finally, yes finally after years ready for this.
I jumped. What I took for granted is that my luck would follow me in this lake, the journey would be smooth and my God would be there to help me in my journey. I am sure my God is right here with me, so are my angels...but journey across the lake has been really though, unexpectedly so, catching me completely unawares. The lake which looked beautiful and blue green from outside, from inside is all murky and grey and I do not know the rules of this place. I try and apply the rules I learnt in my woods, sometimes they work, most times they do not. Luckily for my love, he found his way back into the woods. Granted this is a new stretch of wood, the trees are news and unknown, so are the others living and passing through this space. But it is a wood nonetheless and he is back in familiar territory. But that means I am left alone in the lake, I know no one here. You must be thinking that I deliberately decided not to, not really....I never got the chance. The journey is though, the shore line is not yet in sight, no boat appeared to give me a lift. Not even a fellow lake resident. Maybe my expectations are too much, that could also be true. Maybe I need to finish this journey on my own for my own good. All I can say is that it is a damn lonely journey, the only thing that is keeping me afloat is my lover on the shore, right beside the lake and I do not want to sink in this water, I want to swim across and seek the land again. Never again shall I think of the woods to be boring and petty.