Sunday, 20 June, 2010

The romance that never was...

Disclaimer: Just for a bit of fun and probably a good laugh.

Currently reading Marian Keyes "A Charming Man". Domestic violence is weaved into the novel. Met a character  who is definitely a victim, all under confident and hopeless and shivery. Knew someone like that while growing up. So kind of recognized the signs and somehow got to understand the person I grew up watching, much better. I keep understanding her better and better now when I am thousands of miles away and when she no longer is a victim and very much a survivor. I wonder how this helps her. But never mind, no one can accuse me of gving up.

Apart from that, predominant thought was about self. While reading kept thinking I am so lucky to have married a nice, gentle and kind man, whom I can boss quiet shamelessly, yet who is no mouse and can give me his two pennies worth of stern lecture when pushed too much, which can put me properly and tightly (cos of my figure, no fault of his) into place! The first time I got his lecture, I can tell you I was so surprised that my mouth was a perfect o. Stunned I forgot to fight back (and I am a champion in figthing and giving it back). After a couple of lectures, have managed to somehow precariously stop at my side of the line, well just about. Sometimes have to do one leg know how life is.

Anyways while reading kept thinking thank God and thank my runaway gurdian angel (who sometimes does good things for me, belated realisation strikes) am married to my husband and not some nasty wife beater. In fact at one point got so overcome with emotions that actually bothered to get up from bed and come to the other room to communicate to husband my thankfulness. Isn't this what marriage gurus say? Do these small things which keep the romance alive and make the partner feel much appreciated? Afterall 90% of the time all he gets are my grumbles and complaints. No, for a change I can be a thankful and apprecitive wife 50s style or Indian bahu istyl. Let me tell you this need to be magnanimous is very strong and has to be gratified almost immediately.

Being the imaginative sort had a little Hindi movie style skit playing in my mind. Something like this....

'Oh baby I am so thankful that you are my husband"....
Husband startled: "What a nice thing to say! This is why I love you so...." 

You know...instantly violins would start playing in the background, and we would do an impromptu dance (hate dancing, though not in imagination) and the rest of it.

All this flashed through my mind during the two seconds that it takes for me to trek from bedroom to sitting room. Must congratulate my imagination for not only being vivid and totally filmly, but super quick as well.

So with great anticipation of a great marriage moment push the door open. Husband engrossed with a fierce frown of concentration, computer screen shows writing going on. I gaze at husband's face and the screen. Some words dance towards me: customers, insights, designs, markets... I sigh....dear bogged down with essays, assignments, exams, truant group mates with Ph.Ds in free riding and know the usual B school crap. My love overflows and I tap gently on his shoulder. No response...poor, poor dear...if possible my love doubles. But husband should look up when wife taps on shoulder, no? So retap...and then again, this time tap resembles a shake. Startled husband looks up....concerntration frown marred with worry. Looks say except great disaster to have befallen me in bedroom hence tapping err shaking.

"What?"  which came out more like a bark, ready to spring into action to slay the dragon disturbing me in bedroom.

"No...nothing....errr just wanted to tell you that ....I... reading this book on domestic violence and am (now in a rush like a speeding train late at night) so thankful that I married you..."

Shit that did not come out loving and romantic, did it? But have great faith on husband to be more romantic. Wait all excited.

So what did husband do? Hug me? Say pretty things? Promise to love me for ever and ever?

All I got out of him was an uninterested "Oh" and then back to his computer screen. I mean that is it. No reaction, no romance, no love scene, no violin, no nothing. Essay winning over romance, assingment winning over love, concerntration refusing to give space to mutual appreciation, in short B school taking over marriage!

The moment which had great potential to blossom into what not, turned out even flatter than a month old Coke in an open bottle!

I want a clarification: when marriage gurus counsel to be spontaneous do they include wives of those B school stressed husbands as well? I do not think they were ever married to one, otherwise would never make a suggestion which just might wrap up their careers forever!


  1. I loved reading your blog. We women are made so differently. How many times have we heard it? We all have to have that moment of realisation where we find out all husbands/men are same. Nothing wrong with that..
    Im curious to know did your husband ever realise what happened?
    Here is what I do: I start off by saying " I want an honest answer, not a correct one." Takes the romance out but gets their attention.
    By the way talking to someone who is having an intimate moment with an internet is bad idea!!!

  2. Oh Suchi.....hahahahahahhahahaaaaa.....we bloody women and our imaginations....hahaahhahaha....sorry sweetie. I am laughing so hard that I am not making any sense, but just wanted to let you know that in case you have forgotten, I am still a big fan of your writing....Love you girl!!

  3. Muthu great to have you back, comments and all. Trans oceanic hugs...but be aware may reach you 24 hours later, all weary and jetlagged :) No I have not forgotten YOU, how can I? Was waiting patiently for you to remember me :))))

    Yes we silly women (but our imaginations are good no?) and go on laugh, it is meant for that only...

  4. Hi Manna,

    Had a trip of your blog...loved your name :) In my language Bengali, Manna is a popular name, usually given to men. Do not know the meaning, neither does husband, will ask my folks next time I speak to them and let you know.

    Thanks for reading my blog. Well wrote this and asked him to read, which he did, looked rather sheepish and said 'oh well I did not bark'! and back to books this time. There you go...:)))))

    Yes for my husband it is not a good time to speak to when he is in front of his computer, but the problem is whenever he is home, he is in front of his computer!

    Thanks again for the visit and the comment.

    Love & peace,


  5. Hadnt read your stuff in a while!! i can totally imagine the scene :) keep writing love :)


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