Friday, 29 August 2008
Feel Good
Thursday, 28 August 2008
Children and Conversations...
Place: My office
Time: Around lunchtime.
Background: Suddenly a little fireball of a boy come and leans against my desk in office. I look up startled.
Me: Aarey kya huya? [What happened?]
…: Thak gaya. [Got tired]
Me: Nam kya hain tumhara? [What is your name?]
…: Guru, kitna bar to bola tumko. [My name is Guru, I have told you so many times]
Me: Sorry Guru, main na bhool jaati hoon. [Sorry Guru I keep forgetting]
This conversation was happening between me and a ten/eleven year old boy, who comes to my office to deliver food from a local dhaba.
I look in my drawer; there is nothing in food group to offer Guru sadly. For a brief second I contemplate giving him a pencil, but didn’t think it would go down well with him.
Me (after a pause, while I was searching): Guru tum kaha se ho? [Guru where are you from?]
Guru: Darbhanga [One of the poor districts of Bihar]
Me: Kiske saath yeha pain rahete ho? [With whom do you stay here?]
Guru: Mamaji. [Uncle, mother’s brother]. Achaa main chalta hoon, der ho raha hain. [Ok, I am going, it is going late].
Abruptly he turns around and vanishes.
Another conversation…
Place: My cousin brother’s house
Time: Freaking 6 a.m.
Background: My sister-in-law goes to teach school at 6 a.m., so a small girl about 12/13 years comes to play with her son/ my nephew till she is back. Since the girl’s parents go off to work around 5.30 a.m. in the morning, they drop her that early.
I felt someone come and sit near my head on the bed. I open one eye and see a freshly bathed little girl, looking prim and proper with bindi and lipstick, smiling broadly at me. My sis-in-law says a cheery bye [another morning person] and disappears. Since it seemed rude to go back to sleep, I mutter some incoherent words. That was all the encouragement she needed.
…: My name is Deepa.
Me: Hmmm.
Deepa: I know you.
Me (a little interested): You do? How?
Deepa: Boudi (my sis-in-law) told me about you.
Me (with a little less interest): Oh ok. So where are you from?
This set her off for the next half an hour. She is from Kakdeep area which is in South 24 Parganas, fringing on the Sunderbans. First her dad came to Delhi, then her mom and now both she and her brother are here too. Her younger brother goes to school, while she works because her parents are poor and need all the money they can earn in order to retrieve the land, which had to be pawned to the moneylender when floods hit the plains. 24 Parganas is situated in the lower plains, at Hoogly’s (Ganga’s name in West Bengal) mouth and treacherously prone to floods.
Me: So when your parents get their land back, will you go back to school?
Deepa (a little wistfully): Don’t know.
(Then she perks up) But I study in the evenings with my brother.
Me: Do you miss home?
Casually asked but she launched into a missive on missing home. This naturally got me interested, if I was completed my Ph.D. my thesis would have been on diaspora, home away from home and all these vague concepts. Yes according to Deepa she does miss home. I point out to her the glitters of Delhi, no she was firm, and home will always be home. She rather be in her village with her grandparents and cousins. Don’t know whether these were Deepa’s very words or she was copying what her parents say. Talking to her was similar to reading one of the writers in exile. Whatever the background, the experience of displacement, the feeling of not belonging are almost the same, stress on the word 'almost'.
Another conversation
Location: Children’s Home, New Delhi
Time: A few days back
Background: This minor girl of twelve/thirteen years has already gone through a lot more hell than most of us go through in our entire lives. She is away from her home and family, forgotten her mother tongue, speaks in a mixed language (bits of her mother tongue and Hindi) and is highly traumatized.
I had this conversation after I had finished formally translating for her.
Girl: Didi (elder sister) when can I go home?
Me: Soon. See once the legal proceedings start it takes sometime. You have to be patient.
Girl: Didi I miss my home and my family so much I cannot tell you.
Me: You will go back home soon, don’t worry. You have to be patient and brave.
Girl starts crying. So in order to lighten her mood I ask her: You have already forgotten your language, so how will you speak in home?
Girl: I will relearn once I am back.
Me: Wont you miss Delhi? Your friends in this place?
Girl: No didi I just want to go back home.
The poor girl is still stuck in the children's home, and there is little one can do to hurry up court procedings. In fact children's homes are like a can of worms-- each case turns out to be more horrifying that others. Anyways that is going off to another line...
Tuesday, 26 August 2008
Home Sweet Home
Dear friends,
Am back from my two weeks break at home. It does feel a bit horrible, though it is nice to be back in touch with all my friends in Delhi and also I kinda missed our terrace and bits and parts of office or rather the people. Needless to say way too much work piled up but not started any of it. "Time to get back to work Suchismita" I tell myself but so far my brain is refusing to process this information.
Since I am still so gung ho about home, googled water colour paintings of home and some very nice pictures flashed up. Putting up two for you.
Sincerely,
Blogger back to blogging
Thursday, 21 August 2008
How I Am Spending time from 9th to 21st August 2008
Movies I saw: Come September, bits and pieces of Hum Tum.
Music I heard: FM mostly.
Shopping/purchases done: Well lots....
Gifts received: Lots again...guys am home.
Food Consumed: Eating at home, ma at her best, loads of nemontonnos as well.
Restaurants Graced: Bedouine and Zee Shan (both biriyani places), Stop Over (rolls), Kim Fa inTangra (China Town), Mocambo and Flury's (Park Street)-- all these are in Kolkata.
Friends/relatives/acquaintances/enemies I hanged out with: Home crowd....parents, brother and usual gang of uncles, aunts cousins etc etc and of course old friends Swati, Sudeshna and Sambaran and a new friend too.
Travel: Will be getting back to Delhi on Saturday.
On the phone with: Nocturnal creatures.
Anything substantial at work: Stray emails and phone calls...apart from that lazying at home.
Harmful activities: Over eating and lazying at home, sleeping till 11 in the morning, nap in the afternoons...oh what glorious life!
Anything creative: Eating (can that be creative?)
Sadness/depression/head & heartache: No time.
Hilarious stuff: General does of hahaha hehehe at home.
Any off beat activity: None
Future plans: None of my own, but my ma has some up her sleeve.
Severe Loss: N/A
Highlight of the week: Home, sweet home, and of course Kolkata.
Friday, 8 August 2008
What I Did Last Week: 2nd to 8th August 2008
Books I read: Reading a book about a nun, still not remembered the name. Hardly read 10 pages, though those pages were pretty interesting.
Movies I saw: Ugly & Paagli and Shall We Dance.
Music I heard: FM mostly.
Shopping/purchases done: Silver earn rings (4 pairs), one ring (with pretty pink stones), one diamond nose ring all from Chadni Chowk and tee shirts for my dad and bro and will sweets for home count?
Gifts received: A poem.
Food Consumed: Eating at home or not eating at all, yes strawberry cheesecake shake, chicken salad and chocolate volcano which literally had chocolate sauce oozing out, jaleebis with koolfi, sada vada and pineapple juice. Ha made ladies finger/dharosh ka sabji, since it was me cooking veggies (kya din agaya hain life main) that too with curry patta I was very doubtful but turned out well.
Restaurants Graced: China Hut & Kadmi Dukan (Bhogal market), Mocha and Angels in My Kitchen (Def Col), Sai Sarovar Pure Vegetarian Food (Lajpat Nagar)
Friends/relatives/acquaintances/enemies I hanged out with: Usual lot, Anubha’s friend who comes to our house with food/drinks, makes us drinks while we laze around, and lecture him on his future and generally bully our benefactor while Anubha keeps getting mad at the already confused boy.
Travel: Starting today. Going home. Oh yeah.
On the phone with: My parents, brother, cousin brother and of course Swati (though this week I have not been giving her time, either she calls during office hours or I call her when she is in dreamland).
Anything substantial at work: Yeah.
Harmful activities: Where do I start? Seesha/Hooka (green apple flavour) at Mocha and flavoured vodka (green apple and orange—tastes like dream, heard vanilla is dreamier, will have to try that one) on our terrace.
Anything creative: Emailing (can that be creative?)
Sadness/depression/head & heartache: No time.
Hilarious stuff: General does of hahaha hehehe till 1 a.m. and then again at 6 a.m.
Any off beat activity: Five days of continuous early morning waking up (pat, pat, pat my back). Heavy doses of emailing.
Future plans: Someone will come and cook for us which we will have to eat with ‘shonaheno mukh’ (cant translate).
Saw this fabulous meena and jarwa gold set embedded with real diamonds and emeralds…………………………man…………………………. Can I even ever possess something that beautiful? I just touched it tentatively and felt like a princess. But should someone have that kind of expensive thing? That idea rankles a bit.
Severe Loss: Ability to sleep.
Highlight of the week: Curious incident of the owl.
Thursday, 7 August 2008
Urghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh...........................
In the middle of a busy, busy day just when your brain feels that it cannot keep track of all the things that it needs to work on, the trick is to clear everything on your desk, put your head down, close your eyes and silently scream with all your pent up energy and frustration inside your head. Urghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. Then get up, cos you are too agitated to lie down, and start writing. Writing is supposed to be theurapatic right? Right?
I just did the screaming and now onto the writing. Before that had a fight with someone who moves at the speed of 1 inch an hour. Boss I am meeting two deadlines, and do not want to know if the scan machine does not work or someone has picked it from your table and dumped it in the dustbin or broken your head with it or whatever, you are being asked to scan, just scan and fast. No response, only blank face. Watery blinking eyes peering at me like I am talking in Hebrew. Urghhhhh. Why cant people just understand that there are some days when the other person is in a hurry and not interested in your health or your entire family history. Just do the work and get on with it.
March to the admin head and demand that a scan machine and a faster scanner be provided. Admin head the nice man he is, calls the slow man who then launches into a sob story. Women are too aggressive and some other bullshit. My face is turning red, so admin head hurriedly keeps down the phone and tries to pacify me. Thanks for trying, but no thanks. No point, so I find a solution myself. Got hold of the sweet office boy. I dont know why I try to stick to procedures and rules on such days, should have bypassed watery eyes and gone directly to ever resourceful Vikrant, who conviniently found a scanner and scanned the document which has already reached it destination. Vikrant is an interesting character, 22/23 years old, one brother sells veggies, the other is studying computer engineering and Vikrant works in our office. Already in his spare time he has picked up typing and types tomes for lawyers when watery eyes waters his eyes. Mark my words that boy will go a long way and I am going to push to get him become a typist in this office and whatever else he wants to be. He is too good and talented to waste it.
Talking about Vikrant's talents, soothe me. So now reply an email and get back to work.
Wednesday, 6 August 2008
Calvin says...
Tuesday, 5 August 2008
Breakfast...
Monday, 4 August 2008
Happy Birthday Baba
Femisnist Critique of Sapphire's 'My (Lamenting) Ode to Puchka'
Sunday, 3 August 2008
Happy Friendship Day
Saturday, 2 August 2008
How I spent this week: 19th to 26th July 2008
Movies I saw: None.
Music I heard: FM mostly.
Shopping/purchases done: Gearing up for today. Going to Chadni Chowk for some jwellery shopping.
Gifts received: One cute flower shaped page marker from Anubha as peace offering.
Food Consumed: Chocobar ice cream, Chinese khana (chicken lollipops and Cantonese noodles), biriyani, mutton bhuna, Anubha’s cooking, jalebis (Aagney’s birthday treat, you have no idea the amount of coaxing he needed, he skipped Christmas, Good Friday, finally could not escape his birthday), chocolate mousse (forgotten from last week), blueberry cheese cake (forgotten from last to last week).
Restaurants Graced: China Hut & Kadmi Dukan (Bhogal market), Moets (Def Col) and Barcos (CP) and any other places which I forget Anubha will remind me and I shall mention later.
Friends/relatives/acquaintances/enemies I hanged out with: My usual friends.
Travel: Home to office and back and the same again and again and again…
On the phone with: My parents, brother, cousin brother, cousin sister, Honey and of course Swati.
Anything substantial at work: Internship lunch. Also got displaced for the fourth time in one year, I am so tired of these shifts. At least this time I have been able to cling on to my soft board.
Harmful activities: Loads, any problem?
Anything creative: Bheja fry.
Sadness/depression/head & heartache: Remarkable cheerful week even in the face of boredom.
Hilarious stuff: Yesterday evening.
Any off beat activity: People are teasing me for a change.
Future plans: Run away.
Severe Loss: Friendship with Anant Asthana. Alveeda dost.
Highlight of the week: Severe hair loss due to mental unstability. Patched up with Honey on his birthday.
Friday, 1 August 2008
Mills & Boons
How tacky! (With nose up in the air, it’s a real art the ‘holding up nose’ I tell you)
Ah you are a closet romantic! (With utmost suspicion, like romantics are akin to Al Queda and dawning realization that I am one of them)
Don’t you get bored? (With a yawn and the unsaid air like I never read anything less intellectual than Kant, Hegel, Schopenhauer and Nietzsche, ok too German maybe Plato, Aristotle, Rousseau, and Marx et al.)
How teenage! (With a superior air, like they are eighty-year-old grandmas, my grandma, God bless her, is more sporting than that)
Once the fact that you read M&Bs gets known this is the general reaction you mostly get. I do know because I have been getting these kind of reactions since class VII. Yes been reading them since then. Don’t remember who introduced me, but my two elder cousin sisters used to read and rave about them, but whenever I wanted access to one, they would be very mysterious and say, “Not now when you grow up”. It was one of the things that you do when you become a teenager. Oh how impatient I used to be. So finally in class VII, I got my hands on the first M&B. Have been severely hooked ever since. Over the years there have been many funny incidents over my reading M&Bs.
I lent a M&B to one of my classmates, her mother caught her reading it and she confiscated it. Not only that, that draconian lady came to school and gave me a lecture on morality (not knowing that her own daughter was planning to elope with a guy and go and live in Assam at the age of fourteen, so much for moral policing). I still remember that day when after school she came to meet me, there was students all around us, having fun, me along with one of my loyal friend who decided to face the music with me, listening to her lectures.
Every night after reading the M&B, while going to bed I would drop the book in the space between my bed and the window, which was just next to my bed. This was my effort not to let my parents know what I was reading. Every morning my dad would come to the room, to wake my brother and me up, open the window and lean over, pick up the book and keep it on the window ledge. So much for trying to hide the books. But he never said anything, never tried any funny censoring. My mom tried once, but soon lost steam and backed off. (That is the good thing about my mom, she looses interest pretty soon.) So with parental non interference I kept reading these books.
Some where along the line my cousin brother in Delhi had the funny idea that I should not be allowed to read M&Bs, so what he used to do was come and snatch the book away. We used to have huge rows over that.
In JNU hostel one of my seniors had a huge stack of M&Bs, which she graciously lent me. Angira my ex room mate and present Delhi best friend is not into reading books and she hates it when I am in the middle of one. She specially hates M&Bs because she feels these are totally nonsensical and worthless books. Once I was deep into a M&Bs and Angira kept on talking.
Listen I think X is really having an affair with Y.
Hmmm.
What do you think?
Hmmmmm
P was saying ABCD is a good movie, lets go on Sunday.
Hmmm
Don’t you have to finish that essay? Get up and do some work. Can’t understand what you keep reading.
Mmm.
Will you kindly take off that horrible book off your face and listen to me?
Mm. (In my head I scream "Yaar my hero and heroine are in a really romantic mood and starting to have hot sex, so will you please shut up!!!!").
Total silence for five minutes. Ah she heard my silent scream. My hero and heroine are done with their sex, sated they fall asleep. I look up. Where has Angira gone? I see her on her bed, curled up with a book. I get up to enquire, she and non study books dont go too well together. She is reading the UN Charter.
“We The Peoples Of The United Nations Determined…”
[Had my mom been present she would immediately get on pet her hobby horse ‘me-bashing’. Dekha (see) this is why Angira gets a first class, because the girl has dedication while you…etc.]
Thankfully my mom was not there and I found the situation was so incongruous that I laughed and laughed.
This is how I have been going on. Lately haven't been getting access to M&Bs and I do miss them. If you have old stock and need spring cleaning, unlike Aatreyee please don’t sell it to the junk man, please give them to me.