Severly Affected by Monday Blues

Mondays are bad on normal days, but if you have been depressed for sometime like as in since before the weekend, then facing Mondays can be quiet intimidating. When I am sad/depressed I usually sulk, brood, don't talk much or when I talk say the wrong things to the wrong people and am a terrible sore to people who are used to seeing the sunny-side-up me. But what to do my Libran scales do tend to dip rather precariously on the negative at times.

So Monday morning I drag myself from bed, somehow wear the fist thing that came to my hand, which is severely crushed and badly needing ironing, don't bother with my usual dose of kajal and ear-rings and just come to office. In office after morosely looking at the piles of work waiting for the efficient me, I decide to do a google on 'how to cheer myself up'. Google has become the most steady thing in my life, it never fails to deliver or disappoint. Predictably some interesting and enlightening stuff come up. But the inappropriate things first.

Google seems to think that to cheer myself up, I need to shop for clothes and shoes, little does Google know I do not have any money to shop and that is one of the core reasons for my present state of mind. Reminder adds to further depression. Tsk...tsk...

Lo and behold, they even throw up diamonds and rubies and other glamourous women wearing such precious stuff. But they are so expensive and so much out of my reach that they don't even depress me. I just avoid them and pretend that they do not exist in my world. Am a non clutter and totally non showy girl, right?

Google throws up a lot of how to cheer kids up stuff. Don't adults need cheering up in this age and day? I certainly do and unfortunately mickey mouse does not do the trick for me anymore.

The search further throws up a lot of political leaders-- what for? How am I supposed to feel cheered seeing George Bush's face? Logic does not crack my fuddled brain, rather the political conscious side of me feels more depressed.

Eat...as if I didn't know about the eating therapy. How do you think women like me got fatter? I have been loyally succumbing to eating chocolates/ ice creams/ potato chips/ various other healthy junks ever since the day I got first depressed. Don't need to see vivid pictures of scrumptous cakes to make my mouth water early Monday morning.

Pictures of anorexic and zero size women looking happy with glowing skin, perfect hair and glamourous clothes---I do like to torture myself.

But not anymore, as they say if I do not love myself and value myself etc etc, then the others will also not do the same. So some good things....

Found this write to heal thing. And I have realised writing does help me lift my mood. So other fellow depressed souls you can try your hand at it.

Then found this nice picture of a girl trying to make some grumpy friend of her's smile. I can imagine her to be my friend and smile instead.

Ok I should not be utterly thankless, this morning when I came in, I saw my desk being miraculously cleaned, looking spic and span. Now did I ever confess that I am not world's tidiest person? In fact truth to be told I am pretty untidy and when papers keep piling up on my desk, I keep meaning to clean them, but never do. So every morning a messily littered desk greets me. But today morning when a nice, clean desk greeted me, I was really pleased. My roomie, the one who went for a date Saturday night, cooked breakfast, so day's eating started auspiciously and healthily. Also got a sms from a colleague cum friend that I should not bother to get lunch, since she is getting it for me. Since I have been plaguing her and her husband to feed me some nice non veg khanna (her husband cooks mean chicken) I kinda know what is going to greet me in lunch.

Come on now Suchismita time and reasons enough to cheer up ( afterall a woman's heart is through her tummy).