Sunday, 23 May, 2010

Love myths...

One of my friends in face book has posted a link for all her single friends. This video is about men proposing to women.

Watching the video took me back to the not so long past when I was single and such videos would just add to the trepidation that I might not find the right guy at all. Specially after hitting 30, I had become more sensitive, suddenly all the time that I thought I had in life to find the right guy had vanished and the pressure to find one now and here had steeply mounted. Here I talking about the pressure that I felt within myself, not going into external pressures.
Since young we are fed on stories where a prince comes and sweeps the princess away. Music, movies, literature all glorifies love and relationships and urges us to fall in love. In teenage love is all about Archies card and venturing into the forbidden. In 20s love is all about the man wooing you with flowers, gifts, dinners and dates.
In the video I mentioned above it was the men proposing and all the women looked shocked/surprised initially. When will we women claim the space and take the lead in a relationship? Why cannot we propose and ask the men to marry us?
The points that I am trying to make here are--
  • Women should not be pressurised by society, family, peers, friends, literature, music, movies etc etc etc to get into relationships. Our lives should not be defined by the existence of the 'other';
  • Happy projections of relationships-- the candle light dinners, bending down on knees to propose, the diamond engagement ring, flowers to woo the girl somehow gives us the message that all relationships should be like this. So when we are in relationships for the first time and after all the magic moments go and left is the regular, a disillusionment comes cos the expectation is of the magic at all times.
  • In these days of emancipation why do men always have to propose? Why cannot we women take the lead in our relationships? Come on sisters we can do it.


  1. Well I have done it...a number of times.....doesnt seem to work even then...coz the subject remains the same!


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