Tuesday 27 January, 2009

The happy ending is you...

True, this week due to Republic day falling on a Monday there was no Monday blue. But sadly the Tuesday has turned out to be blue-er. It is a blue, blue Tuesday. Initially it was acqua marine blue, but soon the vividness, which was anyways blinding me, dimmed and slowly it is turning to prusian blue. I could stare for hours at this blue and not get any work done. But alas!

Latelty I have been feeling rather down and lonely, my life is going all on her own direction. Sometimes I get perturbed that life does not even bother to consult me. She just merrily goes her way dragging me along with her. At times I get angry. Hey it is my life, do I not get the chance to have an opinion? Most times I do, sometimes external forces dominate, sometimes life is just bizzare, does her own thing. And at times when I have been feeling blue for sometime, I just let go. I become a passive observer and watch from the sidelines. It is like all the things that are happening to me are not actually happening to me. I am not in my body, in me anymore. I am just a spirit, hovering over me and silently watching the journey. I dont know if I am able to make you understand what I am talking about.

I was aimlessly flicking through blogs when I came across a post with this title "the happy ending is you". Is it really true? Could the happy ending be really me? Do we actualy have that kind of power over our own lives? How do we stop people from being rude to us? Or for that matter how do we stop feeling neglected? I know you are going to talk about positive energy and positive thoughts and all those Feng Shui and self-help guru stuff. At times the spirit does not want to strive towards the light, does not want positivity and false hopes, all it wants is to sink in the prusian blue, which is steadily turning into a dark dark blue with endless pit and just get lost.

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