Friday 2 January 2009

Most Complicated New Year Wish, ever...

Amidst all the new year greetings, this one stuck me because on the first read I could not decipher it at all. Sent by none other than Mr Amitrajeet Chattopadhyay, born of India, educated in my school along with me and recently living and working in the US of A. Violently naughty as a kid, disruptive as a teenager, became surprisingly mellow once he landed in USA. At least we can attribute one success to the great American dream (ok ok there are many sucesses), he went slightly or significantly crazy with Obama fever, wrote a lashing email against all those "Indian" friends of his who thought he had gone over the edge with this election after Obasma won. Dreams to be a film maker,(at least did the last time I checked, which I confess has been 5 years ago), has the best 'about me' in Orkut, is in love with a girl far far away...generally a complicated, new age man but a damn good friend, always patient and very reliable....

I think the prelude has gone on too long, here is the wish...


Please accept with no obligation, implied or implicit, my best wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low stress, non-addictive, gender neutral celebration of the winter solstice holiday, practiced within the confines of the most enjoyable traditions of religious persuasion and/or secular practices of your choice, with respect for the religious, secular and/or atheistic persuasions and/or traditions of others, or their choice not to practice religious or secular traditions at all, according to the dictates of their own consciences.

I also wish you a fiscally successful, personally fulfilling, and medically uncomplicated recognition of the onset of the generallyaccepted new calendar year of 2009 - but not without due respect forthe calendars of choice of other cultures, societies or histories,whose contributions to society have helped make America great (which is not to imply that America is necessarily greater than any other country, territory, principality or region, or that the only "America"in the western hemisphere is the United States of America) and without regard to the race, creed, color, age, physical ability, religious faith, or sexual preference of the wishee.

By accepting this greeting, you are accepting the following terms: this greeting is subject to reasonable clarification or withdrawal,and is freely transferable with no alteration to the original greeting. it implies no promise by the wisher to actually implementany of the wishes for herself/himself or others and is void whereprohibited by law, and is revocable at the sole and arbitrary discretion of the wisher. this wish is warranted to perform as expected within the usual application of good tidings for a period ofone year or until the issuance of a subsequent holiday greeting,whichever comes first, and its warranty is limited to replacement of this wish or issuance of a new wish at the sole and arbitrary discretion of the wisher.

Phew....

1 comment:

  1. Hahahhhahhaaaahhaaaaaahaaaaa.......you sure he is not a lawyer!!!!! Please give him my best wishes and thanks for the laugh

    ReplyDelete

Hey there, thanks for your comment, let me take a peek and I will soon post it. Cheers!