Friday, 30 January, 2009

Hopelessly clueless...

Are we the so called modern women who grew up focusing on getting an education and building a career, become out of touch with reality that is society? I remember when other mothers were urging their daughters to beautify themselves, my mother would be urging me to study more. When other mothers would be getting hyper about their daughters not getting married, my mnother would get hyper because me, her daughter is not finishing her Ph.D. Most of my girl friends had similar kinds of mothers. Grew up in such an environment, blessed with liberal and understanding parents who never limited my sky or my ability to reach out for that sky. I dont ever remember any discrimination between my brother and me. Along the way I started to believe that this is how the whole world is. Everyone in it is like my parents, they encourage women to be self sufficient, to have careers. In the long run never learnt some of the traditional skills which are important tools of womanhood in our culture. One stray example. Never could sing, tried learning once or twice, then gave up. My parents did not force me irrespective of that fact that everyone in my family is a superb singer. Never ever in my life did I feel the need to sing. I mean somewhere deep inside me I wish I can sing. But it is not a major regret that I cannot nor has my life stopped because of it. My definition of my self does not have a singing component.

Suddenly I meet people for whom traditional skills are way too important. They want to fit me to the box that is traditionally meant for Indian women. I was never kept in that box and all my life I have grown further and further away from it. I do not want to go to it, dont want the restrictions and the impositions. If in the process I lack some skills so be it, but in exchange I am a survivor and a fighter. My open space and my freedom is way too dear to me. Am I being naive or do these people need an update about the changing times?
Why is it always the onus of the woman to change? Why?

* This picture is a result of google search.


  1. Very nice post, Suchismita. I get what you are saying...I myself have grown so far away from the said "box" that I can hardly see it anymore. Like you, I had great parents and they helped me spread my wings and fly far far away from the box. And I agree with you on the last bit too. Why is the Indian woman always expected to change or say, adjust? If there is any word that I hate, it is "adjust" and "accomodate". I don't do either and am perfectly happy :-)


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